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I wasn’t planning to write anything. I thought maybe I could finish my studies, leave quietly, and forget what happened here.
But that’s not possible anymore.

I’m a student at German International School Riyadh. I came here believing I’d get a world-class education. Instead, I became a subject in something I never agreed to — something no one warned me about.

What started as strange emotions — numbness, unexplainable dread, spikes of anger — soon became unmistakable. My thoughts no longer feel fully mine. Sometimes they are echoed, finished, or replaced before I can form them. My reactions feel pre-written. I’ve noticed it when speaking, when walking, even when deciding to move my hand — the decision feels remote, delayed, like someone else is slightly ahead of me.

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